Nukeronomicon.com

Hello, and welcome to my first ever action figure review. This is something i hope to do bi-monthlyish… whenever. It’s a proof of concept, totally not a multifaceted half-baked scheme to get more attention on my webcomic through the proliferation of fan art and toy photos.

So let’s begin.

Who the hell is Beast Megatron?

Beast Megaton is the main villain of the Transformers Beast Wars and Beast Machines series of the 90’s. Despite his name, he is not the same character as the original G1 Megatron. Instead of being a despotic military leader, he is instead an upstart crime boss and took the name ‘Megatron’ to honor the original.

Beast Megatron is a shakespearian mastermind. Equal parts brain and brawn, he masterfully manipulated the predacons and maximals in his quest for conquest. Also, unlike G1 Megatron that only had to contend with Starscream betraying him, just about everyone and their mother tried to stab Beast Megatron in the back. Beast Megs always comes out on top in the end.

Eventually Beast Megatron would take the form of a Dragon when he melded with G1 Megatron, and would go on to conquer Cybertron in the sequel series Beast Machines.

Let’s not discuss his latest appearance in Transformers War For Cybertron Trilogy on Netflix, where he was re-imagined as a beta bitch simp for G1 Megs. Seriously, made him completely pathetic. Most people hated the voice actor they cast for this version. I did not mind the new voice, since it fit the bitchified weak ass Megatron they were portraying.

Okay, how’s the toy?

War for Cybertron Kingdom Beast Megatron is simply a fantastic figure. It isn’t perfect. There are a lot of little nit picks here and there, but it is just about everything you could possibly want for a Beast Wars Megatron. The robot mode is incredibly accurate to the cartoon. It has fantastic paint apps, of note, is the teeny tiny predacon symbol on his fore head. The robot mode is fully posable and has all the articulation you could possibly want, including waist swivel, ankle pivots, and even the world’s most useless wrist pivot. (seriously I have no idea why his fist is on a hinge. It serves no purpose since he cant even really hold weapons).

That brings me to the negative points. His T-Rex head arm is really posable and can get into just about any position you want, however it is just barely limited enough to notice. It has a full swinging hinge at the elbow so it can swing both ways, but stops just short of 90 degrees if you want the head looking forward. The other arm features Megatron’s tail claw clampy thing that the original toy had. This weapon is not removable at all. It is permanently attached to the figure’s arm. This tail weapon would have better served the figure if it was attached via a 5mm post like any other weapon, as the giant thing gets in the way, and makes his hand completely useless.

Speaking of 5mm ports, Beast Megatron only features 4. One in the dino mouth, one is his and two on his feet. The dino mouth one is the only one to get any mileage as it can be used for blast effects. The hand one is useless, and the feet are… well you can give him some booties if you have a weaponizer.

 

The T-Rex mode is where this figure shines. As far as beast modes go, this one is way more posable than the average figure. It features rubberized skin which looks and feels fantastic. However this is also a bit of a curse as the skin can bend and warp in the seams, especially in the accursed tail weapon. I actually had to shave off some of the rubber in order for it to actually fit in the hole when transforming, otherwise it was beginning to warp terribly. In a clever bit of engineering, the dino hips feature sliding pins which allow the legs to have full movement without breaking the sculpt. Also the neck features a set of spring loaded flaps that move with the head so that you can pose the dino’s face without breaking the sculpt. The rubberized skin is the biggest concern for this figure. It is awesome that they did it, and makes this thing feel really unique, but I fear that it might not hold up to time. Hopefully it does not rot or warp too badly in the future.

Repaints?

This mold features two repaints, the Target exclusive Kingdom T-Wrecks, and the crossover series Jurrasic Park Tyrannocon Rex.

Who the hell is T-Wrecks?

Other than being an endless headache to talk about IRL (It’s T-WRECKS… With a W…. Like a wreck… car wreck… its a pun… but he is also a T-Rex…I… want friends…) T-Wrecks is a Maximal and leader of the Dinobots. No not those Dinobots. It is heavily implied he might be Grimlock… except Grimlock also exists in the Beast Wars as a white repaint of Dinobot, so T-Wrecks might not be Grimlock.

He doesn’t have a lot of fiction to go by. T-Wrecks is a dinosaur. He’s a cool dude.

 

Okay, how’s the toy?

T-Wrecks is a straight repaint of Megatron, so everything is the same. The only differences of note are the blue stripe pattern added to the dinosaur mode, and the interesting silver lipstick the robot is wearing. Apparently the mold had an alternate head featuring the original toy’s grimacing face with his teeth bared. This was going to be used for T-Wrecks but instead they opted for the same head with some lip gloss, which i guess is supposed to simulate teeth?

It’s worth mentioning that the original Beast Wars Megatron featured a mutant mask that he could wear. This mask was never used in any fiction, and was obviously left off of the newer toy. All beast wars toys featured this mask gimmick, and when they repainted some of the newer toys, like Shadow Panther or Sandstorm, they used these mutant heads as their new head sculpts to set them apart. I think T-Wrecks would have greatly benefited from this mutant head, as the character was actually shown wearing it in the comics. Such is life.

T-Wrecks is the weakest of these simply because of the lazy paint job. I have to admit, I have a soft spot for him though. I owned the original as a child and it was the last gift given to me by a family member before they passed away.

So everyone who isn’t me and my sentimental ass can skip it.

 

 

Who the hell is Tyrannocon Rex?

Your guess is as good as mine. She, yes SHE, is a new character created for the Jurassic Park crossover pack. She was packaged with the equally lazily named JP93, an autobot that turned into the Jurassic Park Tour Van. Other than being female, and being based off of Rexie from the movie, she has no fiction to speak of.

I choose to believe that she is JP93’s big girlfriend.

Okay, how’s the toy?

She’s a repaint, so same as above, but with a twist. She has a harsh red and black dinobot themed color scheme offsetting her realistic brown and tan dinosaur skin. She features a new head sculpt that is distinctly Grimlockian. It’s sharp and frankly pretty badass. It might be my imagination, but it is even just a bit feminine.

Now some may say that Megatron shouldn’t have been used for a female character, but you can get it into some seductive poses. She has some long legs… and knee high boots…

She has a bit of that Bayonetta flare okay?

Conclusion

Beast Megatron is a fantastic figure. One of my favorites. I just fear it will self destruct in time. It is a hell of a lot cheaper and more durable than the masterpiece, so have at it. T-Wrecks is purely a matter of taste. Given its exclusivity, he probably isn’t worth tracking down. Tyrannocon is just expensive due to the fact she is in a two pack. You might be able to find her on discount at gamestop, as some were stocking and having a hard time unloading the set. She is definitely the superior repaint.